News comes that the latest James Bond film (number 23 in the “official” series) is to be released in 2012, the 50th anniversary of the release of Dr. No. The new movie is, as yet, unnamed. Because Ian Fleming gave his famous fictional spy the name of a real ornithologist, it seems appropriate for us at the Fat Finch to name the new movie and help out with the plot. Here are some suggestions for the title and characters which we offer, free of charge, to the makers of the new Bond movie, starring -we hope- Sean Connery as an aging James Bond.
Dippers are Forever
The Man with the Golden Gull
For Your Eiders Only
Die Another Dove
We think the leading villain should be a disillusioned, resentful ornithologist named Dr. Bittern. His evil henchman, named after the original producer of the Bond movies, will be Bufflehead Broccoli who Bond will eventually throw into Bittern’s vulture pit. Bond will say to the vultures, “Eat your broccoli.” Bond’s love interest in this movie will be Booby Bushtit and she snipes at Bond so much that he finally says to her, “Booby, you’re emberizidae me.” Whereupon, she disrobes and responds, “Oh, James. Don’t be such a grouse.”